32in32 for Zoe

This shouldn’t take long… well let’s see.

It was an cold wet evening in the area of Tulsk. It’s awards night for Bens GAA football team, we were in the local hall, the Cryan’s were there. Jen and I had spoken, we had made up our mind, 2026 was the year we were going out to raise money again and if they agreed, The Zoe Cryan Trust would be the why! I grabbed Davy as we left and nervously threw the question to him,

“We are looking to do a fundraiser later in the year, we were thinking of running it for Zoe if that suits at all?”

It was a quick yes from Siobhan and Davy and there it was, we had what we needed. Jen and I already knew the plan but things like that you have to break in a bit easier, I brushed that off for now. Leave that with us I said. Just wanted to know you’d be ok with it. We’ll chat you about it again.

Weeks, months, other events, other canal fundraisers, London Fundraisers, Spines, wins, losses and draws all slipped by but I always knew the fun was yet to come. September was going to be the big one. The Cryan’s came round the house at one point, we made tea and sat outside. What exactly are you doing they asked? Yep. You heard it right, I’m going to run a marathon in each county as quickly as I can. Ya the one the brothers did…. Only quicker. I explained Alex O’Shea holds a 16 day record for it. Personally I said, I’m going to try break that. The mark was laid, we explained what is always the cause when we go to raise a few bob. We will manage it ourselves but all help is welcome, it will be fun, that always non-negotiable. We will be setting off to do this anyway, why not raise a few bob so anything we have to spend to get there is our problem, this is not a fundraiser less costs, this is a 100% fundraiser. We all have to speak openly, if we overstep the mark, let us know. The tea was good, we laughed, learnt, chatted about Zoe. We discussed her journey so far and what a few Euro in the pot might mean or look like for her future. I was in, what a girl I thought, what a family.

Roll on roll on, we are getting there now, we were meant to start on 13^th of Sept allowing 2 weeks to finish on the day after Zoes 12^th birthday back in Roscommon. Circumstances changed and so did the start date. We pushed back a week and there it was, Sept 20^th we were good to go.

The go fund me opened and money started to flow, word was spreading and help and bits and pieces started to appear. Jen was on top of logistics, we pick our locations and routes best we could. Some we went to see over the past few months some we just picked up online or through friends. We have a route to take around the country, some might say we nearly had a plan.

There were newspaper articles written, Siobhan and I were on the radio. People knew my plan, told me I was mad, asked me how I was feeling, gave advice, support and offered help. I used two terms to try to explain it and they were that the whole thing I felt was gathering momentum and I could feel a huge amount of positive energy flowing our way.

Car packed, Grandad in place as child minder, farm in safe hands my legs in their usual way of having absolutely no idea what was coming. My phone was alive with messages letting me know that people believed in me, would help us in any way they could and no matter the outcome I had done enough by just trying.

In the run up I was stupid enough to plan chicken with Irish peoples generosity and said if there was 5k in the pot before we finished our first then I would run them all as 50km Ultras. I think we were 2 days from starting when the €5k was surpassed and I was starting to think I really need to talk less and act more!!

And then, just like that it was the 20^th, magnetic stickers in place, my head clear and strong we left for lovely Leitrim. Zoe awaited us at the board walk and we laughed and joked. The mood was good, Lots of family and friends there to see us off. Zoe counted us down. Go!! Years of thinking, months of planning, weeks of waiting, days of packing, hours of talking, we were off. In her chair Zoe joined me for the first Km or 2 and then myself and an absolute gent who gave up his Sunday morning to come run with me set off to do a few out and backs on the boardwalk.

I felt good, I was ready, the kms and the chats were comfortable. Others joined, It was so early but I needed a good start to set the tone, positive energy can carry any mission. And then one county was done, 50km clipped and all of a sudden I was eating a chicken sandwich asking… Where to now??

Sligo I was informed, we took photos, shook hands and loaded up. Jen and I heading off now, alone but knowing everyone was with us and more and more were joining the wagon as we went.

I slept, Jen drove, we rolled into Sligo, laced up and all I had to do was move till the watch said 50!! Loops this time, add the odd out and back, more great friends joined us, laughs, slagging. It felt like too much fun. Beep, 50 done. Jen said she had found a B and B actually on the course for Cavan so we can start early!! Too good. We chatted now and I admitted my first mistake, I admitted that although 50km I believe is doable, we must look at the whole picture, we are fundraising for something and someone more important than my ego. 42.2km is more than enough and the record will fall. So for the first but not the last I went back on my word and I returned to the original plan of running a marathon in each county.

Day two started early, we were moving just after 6 and now I only had to cross 42. Easy. Loops, 1.8km loops from memory, eating well, maybe too many gels but all good, moving well. Walk/run, no panic. We were aiming to do 3 marathons today, so maybe a little panic but no stress, Breathe. Done. Shoes off, eat, drink, post to Insta, get any news from Jen…. Where next? Eat, drink, try sleep on the road.

Bundoran now, Sun getting up, clear blue skies, coastal run, lovely chatty people. Town running, out and backs, loops, grab what I can where I can. Warming up now I think, Jen gets me cold drinks. I ask for ice. I’m hot but I only realise later I was actually hotter than I realised. Not eating much now, nibble nibble, lots being offered but “I’m fine thanks” is the new response.

Towards the midpoint I see two guards ahead, they seem to know me. Yep they were here to say hello. This is cool, more momentum gathered. I remember the 42.2 in Bundoran felt quite long, I wasn’t eating great and it was hot, but the scenery was class. But I clipped it off and like the others, the end came to me and I pressed stop on the watch and got to getting ready to leave the county. Fermanagh now and one we hadn’t been to beforehand, We arrived to a forest and it looked hillier than I would like, We took to the roads, yes this was day 2 of the challenge and marathon 3 for the day. Out and backs, quiet roads, night fell, head torch on, Jen trying to feed me but I was still on lock down, no want for food, Stomach ok, nothing wrong just no interest. Let’s not drag it out, I walked and ran and turned and watched my headtorch shine ahead of me, then I turned, I ran, I turned, checked the watch and there it was, target hit. It was late, or early, whatever but it was done. Two days in and 5 done, we were on target.

7am the next morning and we are in Omagh and away again. Found a friendly loop of the town and away I went. 10km done, I remember 20k was harder to find and then I just went empty. I crawled to 30km, walked, not much running, begged the km’s to add up but they were being so ignorant. At 30k I lay down and started to feel so sorry for myself. I asked Jen to get me the note Zoe sent me with telling me to only open it when I was at rock bottom. When I received it I did not think day 3 was going to be the day I read it. I thought of what I had said to her and her family, I remembered some of the stories I had heard about her journey through life, I reminded myself of how many people had put themselves out of their way to allow me to do this. I got up, Told Jen I was in a massive hole and couldn’t see a way out. Jen stayed positive, firm and clear. I hit off again. Returned at 38km and asked Jen to walk the remaining 4 of this one. In my head I was thinking that this may well be the last four Km of this event. Together we walked a lap of Omagh and packed.

If Jen offered a lift home to my bed that evening, I would have taken the offer and quit the journey, I was so empty, so tired. 3 days in, 6 counties, 6 marathons done! Unfortunately, for me at the time, Jen made no offer of a lift home. She had accommodation booked already in Belfast and we headed East. Jen knew I didn’t have another marathon in me that day, she realised I was out of energy and needed a reboot. I hit the bed in Belfast and curled up like I hadn’t slept or rested in months, time passed but slowly I started to eat, I wanted to eat, I slept again, I ate again, this repeated often.

Next thing I knew, I was on a river tow path in Belfast the next morning and the watch started at zero again. 3k out and 3k back this one. Jen kept the food coming, sausage sandwiches and  tea, this repeated often!! Feeling good again, I was moving, I was running again. 42 felt like a smaller number today, we moved towards it and past it!! Done.

Short move and we were on the same riverside but the other side and another county. If we were to stick to the plan today was to be another 3 marathon day, Jen confirmed we were on a new plan, only two today. We were getting the ship back on track today, not breaking records.

Needless to say but I will continue to say that we were building momentum, I could feel the support was there in the background. People could sense it wasn’t going as planned and their genuine backing and good will was amazing. More important than that, money continue to flow towards the Go fund me page. Breathtaking stuff.

Day 4 done, 8 marathons done and I was returning to myself. The next morning, 6am start and even then people came out to meet us. That early I had my head torch on and blinded many a kind person!! IYKYK!! We talked Hyrox, we talked running, life, family. We were carefree and in the groove. People came along and then had to go to work, picnics were brought, we ate like kings, I needed that. One last loop up through town to see the hot spots and we were done. With that came the now well ironed ritual, photos, thanks, handshakes, smiles, have you signed The Book thanks again, see you later….. Where next?

We were two marathons behind but I was so happy to still be in the mix, Each marathon felt like it was getting shorter, I was getting a handle on the distance, I mentally had it covered. The usual plan was to just get to half way cause then then your turning for home so starting out I was happy to just aim for 21.1. Once I was there sure look not even 10k gets us to 30k. Once I was there I blagged my way to 32 and the sure only 2 park runs left. And once I cracked 37 I was loving it, wanting it to go on and on, telling myself, I’ll miss this place. The numbers were small now, watch says 40k, easy, I could roll 2k. This was not always the exact plan but you get the gist.

We had 2 options for Louth and to this very day and for many to come I very much regret the choice I made. Instead of going to a short out and back in the town I choose a long beach run. The sand will be firm, all good I told myself. We parked up and more help and support awaited us. No one that came out to meet or run with me are any more or less worthy of thanks than any other. You are all heroes and I thank each and every one of you for your time but the two who came out to Louth and ran a share of it with me are two people I personally have on a bit of a pedestal so this was a special moment for me to clip some Km’s of our challenge with them. Enough soft talk.

The beach was lovely, bit windy but views were amazing and the sand was firm, I think! This evening during the Louth run for the second time on the challenge I didn’t keep to my word. A few weeks earlier I was asked to join a panel of speakers in Bray on this Thursday evening, being a yes man, I said yes. Turns out Bray is a long way from Louth after 2 marathons. So much to my annoyance, mainly cause farmers from Roscommon don’t get invited onto expert panels in Bray that often, I again broke my word and cancelled myself from the panel.

Another day done, 2 more counties covered, we were rolling through them now. Jen was at her finest regarding logistics and informed me that before we go any further south if we have any chance of getting back on track we must go back and catch the two missed ones asap, she meant tomorrow. I informed her, that where I run is her thing, all I got to do is hit 42.2, the where is and will be her thing.

Extra help was to hand, a friend that was not taking no for an answer enrolled himself. 4am the next morning we left the hotel and headed back for Derry. We arrived just after 6 and yet again we had been beaten to it. Running help awaited. 2km loop and we rolled, more help came, sausage sandwiches were organised and the chat was next level. 21 loops felt like a walk in the park, I was moving so well now, fuelled well and backed well and full of positivity.

Down the road we went and Armagh awaited, beautiful Gosford Park, lots of trails and areas to get lost in and to lose Kms in. Reunited with Jen and today felt like we won. These two marathons were the ones we left behind when was all too big for us, we skipped them cause they were outside of our reach when I was out on my feet. Now I was running them, enjoying them, getting them done and looking for more. I now had a handle on the distance, my head and body was coming to terms with the plan.

Oh how it can change, I’m not afraid to say I know my body very well. Funny enough I spend a lot of time with it, but unlike some I ask mine more questions than most do. Don’t get me wrong I’ve lots left to learn.

Phoenix park now, Saturday, Zoe's birthday, this was a big one, a target day. Off I went and its was ok till it wasn’t. Lower left leg niggle, mentally access, gentle shift of weight off it and onto it. Lengthen stride, try a thing or two, where is it exactly and can I get relief anywhere. It was ok, I could manage this pain, I knew I was going to have to manage pain if I was to manage this whole thing. The park was a wash of Saturday morning runners out gearing up for the upcoming Dublin. The pain remained, it was getting worse, I could tell, but more worrying than that I couldn’t ease it, couldn’t nurse it, couldn’t ignore it. I walked a bit now, that helped. We hit 42, I wasn’t worried, I met Zoe, She brought cake.

Birthday wishes, hugs, chats, laughs, stories and plans. Met my parents, all ok? We loaded up and Kildare called. I started alone but not for long, school friends, new friends, Tulsk friends, old friends. A lady who cared for Zoe as a baby was there literally with bells on. I listened and learnt. But not even that could shift my mind from lower left leg, I sensed it was different.

If your new here, I’ll try not to boast when I say, I have ran quite a long way and have managed my body through many the battle that for much of the time I was losing. What can I say, I’m an ignorant son of a gun. So what I am trying to say is, am I trying to line up an excuse, yes probably. But hear me out. Canal path again, I ran out to the where Kildare meets Dublin, I turned and returned. The pain was real now though, Running through it was not breaking it, it was breaking me. I mentioned it to a few and I flicked a message to my physio (This man knows how the body works let me tell you). He had a plan or two and Jen got to work! I continued, but was aware of the rate of decline now, I prefer to see an ache come to life, I find it, figure it, nurse it or ignore it. This one arrived, was different from the start and was sharp, had teeth. Wasn’t listening to soft talk or firm words. I was losing and I knew it. That said, Kildare clipped away thanks to the help and support mentioned above.

Keen to see what I was dealing with and keen to get 3 done today I said to Jen lets head further down this canal and get Offaly off the to do list. We grabbed pizza, I was eating well now. I laced up and headed off. Quickly it was even worse, to be exact, every time I lifted my left leg off the ground behind me it came with a stabbing pain just above my left ankle. Every time. We tried a few things, shoes, gel pads, etc. The pain was always there, this morning I was pain free, now in more ways than one I’d imagine, I’ve become painful. Walking has the same pain now, only avoidable if I straight leg it and don’t let my left leg go through its full stroke. I walk and limp, I run and scream, the pain continues to come, to build.

I’m starting to look back now, asses decisions made, identify my mistakes. Running now is too sore, walking is going the same way. I call Jen to come and collect. I look down and my watch and press stop exactly 9km into the planned 42.2 and in my heart of hearts I know that the pain in my lower left is going to end this mission. I sit down, turn off my head torch, allow darkness to surround me and look into it for comfort.

We have a bed nearby, my cousins place, she is awake. We heat and cool, its throbbing now, my head is starting to spin. I know, I can see Jen is coming round to it too. We haven’t mentioned the end yet. Sleep.

I wake up and Physio is remotely getting a read of the situation, he asks me to try a few simple heal raises. I fail, the slightest raise is a huge struggle accompanied by pain, the same pain I’m familiar with now. I’m limping. I’m out.

Let’s go get some tea and a chat I say.

Today is day 8, in the first 7 days I had ran 14 marathons in 14 different counties. I couldn’t even make half bloody way!!

I had said I was going to go and do a thing and I was failing, I was DNF’ing my own fecking thing. Jen trying to tell me these things are out of my control. Outwardly I would agree, inwardly I was wondering, what if I feel better tomorrow, what if I just run a bit and try it, what if the physio is wrong (He has a name and I respect him to the end of the world but I don’t like naming names, you know that) what could I have done different. Then the other side, people donated to see me do this,  they expect more of me, I’m not here to stop. We are here to raise money for someone who I told I was going to do this, Zoe doesn’t need another… Ya but no but!! Don’t be fooled that this decision is only getting one paragraph, the chat to stop running ebbed and flowed, I reached put to better people and runners than me to see could they find an answer. I looked inside myself, tried to stay level headed. Jen hit us with the facts and the scenarios, Looking back it that morning feels more like a week!!

My head was fried, deep down I knew my left leg did not have 18 more marathons in it but my head wasn’t in the mood to listen to that. I set off  with a plan, a goal and was now going nowhere. Jen asked, what now?? I poured more tea. I’m not going pretend like I remember who mentioned it first but from somewhere we wondered if I could cycle! In that moment, a flicker of light. I jumped on it, I wanted to change the plan, the goal the whole thing. I could cycle Mizen to Malin I said. Ya that was my plan. That floated like a lead balloon with the logistics manager! At the time I strongly disagreed with Jens plan to cycle the marathons in the remaining counties instead of run them but with hindsight she was 100% correct. I think I wanted away from this event at the time, I wanted to leave it, yep there it is, I wanted to quit.

After more tea, chats and a few tears, we agreed I would cycle the remaining marathons in the 18 remaining counties. That Sunday was spent travelling home, unpacking, repacking, hugging kids, meeting parents, limping trying to put some perspective onto it and leave again to get ready for week 2…. The cycle.

Monday morning, I hoped up on the bike and pedalled away from Jen to be alone with the bike and another canal path! It wasn’t sitting easy with me. I wanted to run, walking was tough but cycling was easy. It all made sense but I could not make sense of it!! The record would stand, my ego had fallen a bit. One challenge and so far 3 promises broken.

Yes, yes, I know, money and good will was flowing, we had already raised amazing amounts of money and I was so lucky to be able to continue this in any way at all. I am aware of that and often stripped it all back to that and reminded myself of the main reason and driver for being here, the why…. The Zoe Cryan trust. Now pedal.

Three counties fell that day, I met some lovely people, laughed and explained how we got to this point. They were done on the mountain bike and I realised that 126.6k on a heavy mountain bike for the next week might be a bit of a push. I called a Dad I know and he loaded my road bike and drove to Kilkenny with it. Yes we spent the previous day packing and only brought one bike. Doh.

Day 2 on the bike and I was atop my beaut of a road bike and we gelled just fine. 3 more counties that day. The last of which I went at with some haste as we were heading into a storm, twas Tipperary and another lovely Greenway. Some great friends, cow people, braved some bloody tough weather to join me on route. The storm came at us but we got done. The positive energy was building again, donations continued to flow. Jen and I continued to do our thing, county after county.

At times over the first 3 days on the bike I resented it, I wanted to be doing it on foot but slowly I started to forget about the original personal running task, helped by the fact that my lower left was not letting up and I was realising for real that 18 more on foot is out of my reach.

For four days on the bounce I cycled 3 marathons, that meant I only had to cycle 2 for the last 3 days. Physically cycle was certainly easier than on foot but I’ll stop short of saying it was easy. Homeward bound now though. I was a continual mix of emotions, pissed off I failed yet so happy with the fundraising success. Pleased we had found a work around but sometimes wanted to throw the bike in the hedge and go home!!

Sunday was always to be the finish day and that hadn’t changed, my socials feed was filling up of people planning the homecoming of this running and cycling duo that travelled the counties of the country to raise a few bob for a local legend.

Nearer to home with every marathon, more and more were dusting off their bikes and coming out to join me. Mayo, Clare, Galway, Longford among others were awash with help, legends all of you. As I rolled toward Mullingar in Westmeath three bikes approached through torrential rain, I was taking cover under a bridge. It was torrential I tell you. As they approached I felt sorry for them, they were soaked through and through….. Through the rain as I said my hellos to what I thought were three complete strangers I recognised two of my best of friends. Honestly it would have been easier to swim out to me!! Who was the third you ask….. Oh ya, that was Jen, the rain was that heavy I didn’t recognise my own wife!! LOL

Against the backdrop of my internal ego driven disappointment my mood was lifting all the time, I knew we were going to get home to Tulsk now and I could sense a special memory building moment would await us there.

Sunday now and after a lovely marathon cycle in Longford we crossed the Shannon and set up camp to set off on the last leg of the journey in Roscommon. 15 days earlier Jen and I had left home, 32 counties later, 14 runs, 17 soon to be 18 cycles later we were heading for Tulsk. Joined again by old cycling friends I clipped away at 37kms before jumping off the bike and slipping on a pair of runners cause at literally any cost I was going to run this last 5km. I told Zoe I would run her back to Tulsk and I knew she awaited me 2km from the finish line.

Unplanned but perfect I was joined on the start of that 5km by a lady I had never met before, she heard of the event and came along. This made me so happy you’ll never know. This was another of the many reasons I had started this thing…. To meet cool people.

As planned 2km from the end I met Zoe and Co. She was excited knowing the village was out to show their support for her. Surrounded by youngsters from the village, Jen by my side and Zoe with us we ran home to a party and celebration I have no idea how they organised it in just 15 days!! More photos, speeches, hugs, kisses, interviews, pints, cake, and chats I was reminded why we started. That day, the community showed up. Thank you!!

I am so very lucky to have generated some amazing memories in my time but the few hours we spent in Tulsk that day will stay with me forever. The cake was that good. We make our own luck, we all know that, and that day was one of my luckiest to date.

Nearly two weeks on now and nearly 26 thousand Euro raised I know no one will entertain me telling them of how I feel I failed but in some ways we all know I did. To be honest I’m pretty ok with the outcome on a personal running level. My leg did actually have a problem that had I continued would have only got worse and I firmly believe breaking the record just wasn’t in me.

What did I learn….

Don’t be flippant with big tasks, respect your challenge!!

Running on sand is not yet confirmed as the reason for my tendon strain but its guilty until proven innocent in my eyes.

I had gotten out of the habit of telling people what my goal and aspirations are cause it plays with my head in a way I have yet to learn how to control and I hope to reform that habit and keep my mouth shut in the future.

Everyone has a great story. No one has it easy, so be nice.

People are so generous.

It was a pleasure to be the vehicle that allowed people to make a remarkable difference to another person’s life, together is always better.

And last but not least but there are some really really good people out there. Trust me on this one.

It’s nice to be part of something positive.

Cycling hurts your bum.

The record stands…….. For now!!